From responding to our children with attachment in mind, to the times we need to take a moment to remind ourselves of our self-worth, both as a mom and our own person, we’re sharing 10 mantras (okay, 11!) with you that we love! We hope you will find them helpful. If you have other ones you love reach out to us - we’d love to hear them!
It truly is that simple - you are the best possible mother in the entire world that there could possibly be for your baby. Regardless of if you grew that sweet little baby in your body or if they were placed in your hands through another journey, the two of you found each other for a reason. You are connected to your baby like no one else, and there is not a single expert or professional who can trump that. You may gain education or support from others, but at the center of it all is the connection between you and your baby. You know them best, and there is no one better to guide them through life than you.
2. I am adaptable and I can do hard things.
Motherhood is hard. Some days it is really really hard. That doesn’t mean you don’t have the strength inside of you to keep going when it gets hard. Each obstacle, challenge, struggle or hardship that arises, you can meet it with courage, perseverance, strength and passion. So yes, being a mama can be so hard, but you can do hard things. You can adapt to anything that comes your way. You are strong and you are capable.
3. I am giving myself grace.
Like we said above, motherhood is HARD. Taking care of babies is so hard. We don’t know a single mom who gets it right 100% of the time, at least we certainly don’t! So how do we get past that? Grace over guilt. There is nothing good that comes from beating ourselves up when we have moments that we are quick to snap or parent differently than we set out to. We truly believe that more important than getting it perfect, is letting our children know that we are human, that we have flaws and we make mistakes, but also that we can repair when we have rupture and that we can move forward stronger after. Remember, bad moments don’t make bad moms. We could probably all give ourselves a little extra grace - we’re all just doing that best we can (and that is enough)!
4. I am showing up for myself AND my child(ren).
Speaking of doing the best we can, we truly believe that when we show up for ourselves, we can better show up for our children, too. Self-care is not selfish but rather essential. We have two blogs on this - one that covers what self-care has to do with gentle parenting, and another that shares some ideas on self-care WITH your children if you don’t have a ton of help or time alone!
5. I am the calm to my child(ren)’s chaos.
One of the reasons we talk so much about self-care around here is because we know that we can regulate ourselves and find our calm in any situation, our children are better able to co-regulate with us when they are feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated. You can be the calm presence they need when life is too much for them or their emotions are too big. To share your calm with them, you first need to find your calm - maybe repeating this affirmation could help!
6. I am showing my child unconditional love.
When it comes to supporting families we spend a lot of time talking about tears. No, we don’t use cry it out, but we also don’t believe waiting it out because we truly believe mom’s needs matter, too! With that being said, it is important to know that sometimes when we make changes (fully rooted in attachment), there may be tears as a form of communication from little ones. That does not mean we are doing anything wrong or that we should not continue to work on positive changes for your family. What it does mean, is that we need to pause and understand emotion fully. Our children have a right to full spectrum of emotions. No matter what our children might be feeling, we need to make space for and validate emotion so that our children know that our love for them is not conditional on their mood or feelings. We love them no matter how they are feeling and we will ALWAYS be there for them. It can be hard to support emotion though, which is why we included this one to repeat to yourself in the moments that feel extra hard to support emotion!
7. I am trusting my instincts and following my heart.
The best parenting tool we have at our disposal might just be our intuition. Your instincts are so, so trustworthy. If you’re having trouble drowning out the noise of societal pressure or well-meaning family members, this mantra might be exactly that you need. If you are following your heart when it comes to parenting, you cannot go wrong. Even if you make a mistake or decide to change your mind, you will always end up where you need to be when you let your intuition guide you.
8. I am setting boundaries to protect my peace.
Not everyone is going to agree with how you choose to parent, and that’s okay. This is your motherhood, not theirs! It is also okay to set boundaries around what feels right for you and your family. Doing something or making changes simply because you feel pressured to, likely is not going to leave you feeling great after that fact. Do what feels right for you for your family, and do it unapologetically. You have the right to protect your peace.
9. I am the safe place for my child(ren) and I am my child(ren)’s best bet.
Remember that when it comes to attachment, it is not enough to be attached to your child, but that as parents we need to be attached as the leader. Being a confident leader is something we have a blog post about as well - you can read it here. To be a confident leader you truly need to believe that you don’t need to search for answers on how to parent, because when it comes to being their mother, you ARE the answer, every single time. You are your child’s best best and you are the place they can feel safe and secure in, knowing that they can venture forth towards independence and that they can always rely on you when they need too.
10. I am an amazing mother AND an amazing person outside of motherhood.
Yes, you are an amazing mother. You are also more than a mother. You CAN be both. You can be the most incredible and present mother for your baby boy and still have an amazing career. You can still love you baby girl and show that to her every single day, while also still enjoying hobbies and interests that made you who you are, before becoming a mom. You can be both.
Bonus:
11. I am worthy. I am enough.
We added this one because we believe (mother or not), you might need this one in your life. Wherever you are at in life, you are enough. You are enough as a mother, enough as a friend, enough as a wife, enough as an employee, enough as a daughter, enough as a PERSON. You. Are. Enough. You are worthy of love, respect, happiness and joy. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
Categories: : Attachment, Motherhood, Parenting, Self-Care