8 Things You Need to Know About Night Weaning

Have you been thinking about making a change to your child’s nighttime feeds? Perhaps you have briefly considered beginning to shift patterns at night, or you may be fully ready to night wean. Wherever you may be today, we’re talking through 8 of the top things we want all families to know about night weaning!

The age at which a child can go all night without a feed is unique to each child
There’s a common misconception that by the time our babies turn 6 months old, they shouldn’t need to eat at night. Now we’re not quite sure where this comes from, but in our experience, most 6 month olds still need to eat a couple times at night. The age at which a baby can go all night without eating is going to vary baby-to-baby, and it’s normal for babies to need to eat at night for the first year of life and beyond.

You can keep some night feeds, but not feed your baby or toddler to sleep every 2 hours all night long
Night weaning does not need to be an all or nothing decision. We have worked with so many families who are so exhausted from feeding their babies or toddlers back to sleep every 2 hours all night long and who feel ready to no longer feed their children at night. When we dig in deeper though, most of these families don’t really need to drop all their feeds, they just don’t want to keep feeding every 2 hours all night long.

We’re HUGE advocates for keeping nighttime feeds if you enjoy them. If your child is under a year old we are almost always keeping 1-2 feeds unless your child drops the feeds on their own. Keeping those 1-2 feeds does not mean that baby needs to be waking to nurse all night long. We can treat some night wakings differently from others. You can set limits around how often you feel comfortable with feeding your baby at night and work toward a goal that is unique to your family.

You can feed to sleep at bedtime and stop overnight feeds
Another common misconception is that if you want to stop nighttime feeds, you have to stop nursing to sleep at bedtime. This is again, is simply not true. There is absolutely no reason you cannot feed your baby to sleep at bedtime and remove nighttime feedings if you’re ready to stop that piece of your nighttime parenting approach.

Keeping that feed to sleep is actually a great way for you to connect with your child. It's an easy way to avoid bedtime battles or bouncing in and out of their room until they fall asleep, and honestly, it's one of the sweetest moments of the day to stay close while they drift off to sleep. You do not ever need to remove the snuggles and cuddles or anything you love in favour of getting more sleep.⠀⠀⠀⠀

It’s not “easier” to night wean when they’re younger toddlers
Through our work with families, we have worked with many families who are enjoying their nighttime feeding relationship now, but are a little eager to make changes because they’ve heard that it’s easier to make changes before their child turns 2. But in our experience, this hasn’t been the case. In fact, most often, the older a child, the easier it is to change how you are responding and eliminate nighttime feeds.

It’s really important to dial into how you’re feeling about your nighttime parenting relationship right now and forget about your future worries. If it’s working for you right now then there’s no need to change a thing. It’s never too late to make changes to the things that are no longer working for your family, so keep doing what you love as long as you love it and only change it when that’s no longer the case.

Night feeds aren’t the only reason your child may still be waking at night
We’ve heard so many parents feel like they’re to blame because their child is “still” waking at night. They have read or have been told that the reason their child is still waking at night is because they are feeding them throughout the night. “As long as you keep feeding back to sleep they’ll never sleep through the night”.

But there are SO many reasons why your child may be waking at night. They could be used to the pattern of feeding back to sleep, sure. Or they could be over-tired, under-tired, in pain from teething, uncomfortable from a food sensitivity, needing more sensory input during the day, missing mom or dad, learning a new skill, hot, cold, and so many more! You have to look at the whole picture, not just the one piece of feeding your little one at night.

You don’t have to wean for someone else to be able to respond
This is a common concern for families of breastfed babies or toddlers, but you do not have to stop breastfeeding to have a partner or other caregiver respond to your child overnight. Babies and toddlers have different boundaries and expectations with different caregivers and you can work with the child’s relationship with that caregiver to allow someone other than mom to respond overnight.

Now, it is common for a child who is used to mom responding 100% of the time overnight to struggle with having another parent or caregiver respond in the middle of the night, especially at first. They have come to expect the pattern of mom coming in, and when it’s not mom they’re most likely to say, “umm this is not how we do things, go get mom please.” This does not mean you have to stop feeding your child at nighttime to get more consolidated sleep, but rather just need to start building some new patterns at night with your little one and the other caregiver.

Just because you’re ready to stop night feeds, doesn’t mean your body is
This one comes from our IBCLC friend, Hayley Bennison of the Whole Child Co. She recommends protecting your breasts by not letting them get overfull throughout the night, and taking it slowly. She also highly recommends seeking the support of a Lactation Consultant before you night wean if your baby is under a year old to ensure they are getting enough breast milk as milk is the primary source of nutrition before their first birthday.

The only reason to stop night feeds if they’re no longer working for you or your child
Finally, the only and we mean ONLY reason you need to stop night feeds, is if they’re no longer working for your family. NOT because your pediatrician said it’s a bad habit, NOT because your neighbour Karen said your toddler seems “too old” to be eating at night, and NOT because of anything other than you and your family making the decision to move away from this type of response at night.

If you are no longer enjoying the time spent feeding your child in the middle of the night, it is absolutely okay and actually beneficial to your relationship with your child to make a change to how you are responding at night.

Categories: : Attachment, Night Weaning, Sleep Without Sleep Training