Being a mom is really, really hard. Beautiful, but hard. There is the sleep deprivation that I am sure we all experienced in some capacity. There is the mental load of always thinking about what is best for your child(ren). There is the feeling of isolation but also the feeling of wishing you could have a bit of alone time.
Yes, motherhood is incredible. We love our babies more than anything in the entire world. But, still sometimes motherhood can be just downright defeating.
We know we can’t be the only ones who feel this way at times. So today we wanted to share with you 5 steps we take when we feel defeated.
Take a Breath. No really, stop right now and take a deep breath. Let your jaw relax, drop your shoulders, let the tension go. Take a few more deep breaths. Keep breathing until you feel like you can find your calm in the chaos. Our children need us to be their calm, not join their chaos so this is a great first step, but also, take a breath for you! Take a minute to slow it down and think clearly.
Dance it Out. Put on your jam, move your body and let the music lift your mood. Chances are bigger kids will see this as a chance to have fun with mommy and do something silly and if your little kids are anything like ours, they will find it hilarious and you'll get those magical giggles out of them. Maybe we’re wrong but we bet cranking the music, dancing like no one is watching and belting out one of your favourite tunes will help lift your spirits and clear your mind!
Get in Touch. We love connecting with each other or reaching out to other mamas in the same season of life as us. Even if they are not feeling defeated in this exact moment, we would imagine you have a friend who’s been there before and wouldn’t want you to feel alone in that. Talking to someone who can relate can help you feel validated and less isolated. It can help remind you that you are 110% not the only one who has days they struggle with parenthood. Don’t have anyone you feel confident reaching out too? We’re here. Send us a message, join our Facebook community or our membership community. We love watching our communities of like minded mamas grow and our hearts burst when we see you all supporting, validating and loving on each other!
Be Intentional for You. We are never going to stop talking about self-care here. We all know it is important for everyone to take care of themselves but when mothers are constantly giving and giving we seriously need to take the time to fill up our cups. Stop and take a shower if that helps you reset. A good skin care routine is so underrated - try it! Stop whatever you are doing and make yourself a nutritious meal and chug a glass of water. Meditate. Journal. Do some yoga. Call up a family member to watch the kids and go for a walk around the block or a go get a pedicure. The idea here isn’t exactly what you do, how long it takes or how extravagant it is… but just that you take a moment to be intentional for you. Even if your kids are in the next room or even still wrapped around your leg be intentional about meeting your own needs for a moment. You are amazing. Stop and give yourself a chance to regroup and reconnect with you.
Be Intentional with Them. Between the constant snacks and the constant laundry sometimes we forget to just be with our children. Stop to breathe them in. Soak up a snuggle. Hold onto them extra tight and engrain that memory into your brain. Get down on the ground and watch them play. Watch for that smile and their eyes lighting up when you walk into their room in the morning or after a nap. Put the distractions away and watch them create something or master a new skill. We aren’t here just to nourish them and give them clean clothes (although yes obviously that is a huge part of it), but we’re also here to enjoy them, connect with them, watch them grow and learn and love on them every step of the way. We truly find that stopping to be intentional about enjoying our children helps us feel grounded. There's nothing quite like the excitement on their face when telling you a story, how they wonder about the world around them or how the way their whole face smiles when they're happy - let that ground you and remind you why we're doing this!
You are doing amazing and your baby is so darn lucky to have you. So the next time motherhood feels just a little bit too heavy, try it! Take a breathe, dance it out, reach out to someone, be intentional about your needs and take a moment to soak in the joy children bring to our lives!