15 Things to Ask New Parents

Do you remember one of the first questions you were asked after having your baby? Chances are, it had something to do with how they were sleeping, because for some reason that’s where we as a society gravitate toward when speaking to new parents. Today we’re going to offer up some alternative questions to ask new parents, because asking about sleep in those early days can often do more harm than good. 

By focusing on a baby’s sleep, especially in the early days, it’s easy to make a new family feel like they’re doing something wrong. Babies are SUPPOSED to wake up a lot and it’s completely normal for them to be wakeful, especially in the beginning. When they start to second guess themselves or feel like they are not getting it “right” their power to be the answer for their baby and really step into the lead can quickly erode, when really they’re just dealing with a typical newborn baby. 

The best thing we can do for a new parent is help them engage their parenting instincts. We do this by helping to support them. We want to step in and cheer them on and make them feel normal for all the things they’re going through. We want them to feel like they’re doing a great job with the phase they’re in. This way, they build up the confidence needed to be their babies answer and step into the lead. 

Instead of focusing on things that are normal and making parents second guess what they’re doing, here are some more supportive things to ask or say to new parents:⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

How are you doing? ⁣Really ask them. The transition to parenthood is such a big adjustment and we need to check in on our new parents to be sure they’re doing okay.

Can I get you anything from the grocery store? Do you remember how hard it is to go anywhere with a baby? Grabbing groceries for them can be a HUGE help. 

Can I drop off some dinner for you? ⁣It’s hard to feed yourself when you feel like you’re feeding your baby 24 hours a day. Drop off dinner for the new parents to give them one less thing to do and make sure they’re nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods! 

Do you want me to come hold the baby while you shower, use the bathroom, sleep, etc? Some babies will happily sleep in their bassinet in the early days but most of them need a lot of contact and closeness. Offering to hold baby can help everyone in the family have their needs met, and who doesn’t love a newborn snuggle?! 

Do you need any extra support? There can be a lot of challenges in the beginning. From feeding, to the adjustment to becoming a new parent, to just figuring out the new rhythm around having a baby. Checking in to see if a new parent needs extra support in one area can be a great way to let them know that support exists and that they’re normal for needing it. 

I found x really hard when I first became a mom⁣.. There are so many things we struggled with as new parents but we felt like we were the only ones who had those struggles. Hearing that other people had the same struggles when they first became parents not only normalizes what we’re going through but also allows new parents to take a bit of the pressure off because this is just a hard season

The early days are really tough but it gets easier! The early days are SO hard because they wear on all our basic needs. From the broken sleep, to the interrupted meals and constant touch and being needed, the early days can be really tricky. Ease the burden by reminding families that it gets easier and that this phase isn’t forever. 

Babies aren’t meant to sleep for long periods of time. They’re wakeful by design. The antidote to “how is your baby sleeping?” is normalizing infant sleep. When we remind families that babies are wakeful by design it shifts them out of “I’m getting this all wrong” to “I’m not in this alone” and that feeling can be liberating. 

I’m so proud of you⁣! You’re an amazing mom/dad⁣! Not that anyone needs the external validation, but it can definitely be helpful when you spend half your day second guessing yourself. Don’t be afraid to tell the new parents in your life that they’re doing a great job at this new parent gig.⠀

It’s okay to cry. Nothing is as healing as a good cry, especially for a new mom who is full of postpartum hormones. Be a safe place for her to express any and all emotion and let those tears flow so she can get back to a balanced and centered place. 

How are you feeling? 1 in 5 parents experience postpartum mood disorders so we can’t stress this enough. Check in to see how they’re feeling and do so often. These conversations can help families get the support they need in the beginning. 

What do you need? New parents try their best not to burden those who love them but they always could use some extra support. This simple question is a great way to support them when they may not know how to ask for help themselves. 

The transition to parenthood is tough and I’m here to talk if you need me⁣. Normalize the challenges and offer your support. You’ll make them feel way less alone and feel like if they do run into a trickier challenge they have the help they need to navigate through it. 

Call/message me anytime with questions⁣. Wouldn’t it be nice if babies came with a handbook? Well the next best thing is having a support person you can turn to for help at any time so you can settle into your new role as a parent. Offer to be that person for the new parents in your life. 

You’re doing an amazing job⁣ and your baby is so lucky to have you. This is hands down the one thing that more families need to hear in the early days. Let them know they’re doing great. Remind them that their efforts and sacrifices are all being poured into this new baby. They are doing great things and their baby is SO lucky to have them!

So there you have it. 15 better things to ask or say to a new parent that will help them feel normal, supported, and empowered to step into their new role. If you feel like they need more support with sleep, our Free Nap Guide and our Free Sleep Progressions Guide are our top downloaded guides and we’re sure they will help them get off to a great start! 

Categories: : Sleep Without Sleep Training, Motherhood, Normal Infant & Toddler Sleep, Newborn Sleep