A Year in Review: Hank's Sleep

A big part of our mission here at My Connected Motherhood is to normalize infant and toddler sleep. We want to take the pressure off of parents who feel like they might be failing because their little one is not able to sleep 7-7 straight, or pops their eyes wide open and starts crying whenever they attempt to complete the “drowsy but awake” put down. We don’t want you to feel alone when you respond to your little one late at night or support them to sleep every nap and bedtime.

In an attempt to normalize things for you, today we are going to share what the last year of sleep has looked like for Sarah’s youngest, Hank. He is turning 1 in the first week of September and we felt like this was the perfect time to recap things for you.

Keep in mind, Sarah is a certified Sleep & Well-Being Specialist and has Elli at her beck and call as a second Sleep & Well-Being Specialist when she needs an outside perspective, so if anyone should be sleeping perfectly, it should be Hank right? Here’s the thing. Even sleep coaches’ children wake at night! At the end of the day, it doesn’t come down to how much you know about wake windows, sleep pressure, or sleep associations. Even though those things are important and can be very helpful in finding a good rhythm, babies will still awake at night because we cannot train babies out of having needs.

Children, especially babies, but also beyond the first year are biologically designed to need us and be dependent on us. This doesn’t stop when the sun goes down. Babies wake for so many reasons, but waking truly is a protective mechanism. So yes, Hank’s sleep has been watched closely by two people who know all there is to know about sleep, but not even then, can you train a baby to not have needs, to not follow biological norms.

So here it is, a quick recap of Hank’s last year. We hope this helps you to feel less alone when it comes to your little one’s sleep! (Remember: this is Hank’s story. Every baby is unique. The point here is to show you one example of normal sleep in the first year. If you are worried your baby’s sleep is outside of biological norms, start with our Red Flags & Hourly Wakes Guide ).

Hank 0-1 Month

Sleeps best when touching Mom (day and night) or Dad!
VERY irregular sleep patterns in terms of length and time of day
Nursing is irregular and often in clusters, even at night, but especially before bedtime
Carrier naps are the only way to manage his sleep at times
Bedsharing and nursing multiple times throughout the night (3-6 times)

Hank 1-2 Months

SEVERE witching hour weeks 4-7, hours spent bouncing, rocking, nursing and feeling in the evenings leaving mama feeling SO overwhelmed
Bedtime often 10-11pm
Still napping best when being held or in the car seat
Wake windows 1-2 hours, naps totalling anywhere between 5-8 hours

Hank 2-3 Months

Night time slowly getting better, down to more regular feeds every 3-4 hours
Lots of 30 minute naps still, super irregular daytime sleep
Nursing to sleep always the best way to get him down, but started to layer in other associations to create a menu to choose from
Wake windows closer to 2 hours typically, napping closer to 6 hours a day

Hank 3-4 Months

Sleeping solid 6-8 hours stretches but still having at least 1 feed at night and often multiple in the last few hours towards morning
Starting to develop a bit more of a rhythm but still unpredictable nap lengths and most of them under an hour, often one long nap a day
Nursing and rocking to sleep and also trying to use bum pats and belly rubs
Wake windows usually 2 hours or more but still varying
Typically 4 naps a day

Hank 4-5 Months

Hit the 4 month sleep progression right on cue!
Night time not too badly affected but no more 8 hour stretches, back to every 2-4 hours
Naps HORRIBLE, short, inconsistent or not at all!
Nursing and rocking or bouncing to sleep
Longer wake windows and less daytime sleep with regression

Hank 5-6 Months

Sleep regression starting to fade, still not back to 8 hour stretches but closer to 4-5 hours
Still feeding a night
Still nursing to sleep
Naps on a little bit more of a rhythm and about 3 a day but still some 30 minutes and some 1-2 hours
Usually awake for 2-3 hours between naps

Hank 6-7 Months

Back to feeding every 2 hours for approximately 2.5-3 weeks as he goes through the 6 month growth spurt
Even though nighttime sleep was more broken again, naps started to consolidate
- Typically one nap a day was 2 hours paired with two shorter ones still

Hank 7-8 Months

Rough nights on and off as his two bottom and four top teeth cut, wanting extra snuggles and support with sleep, naps a bit more of a struggle
On good nights we were getting two 3-6 hour stretches with 1-3 feeds each night (usually closer to 3)
Wake windows on the longer side 2.5-3 hours
Had to transition away from any rocking to sleep as it just wasn’t working for him, now typically nurse in bed

Hank 8-9 Months

Starting to see a spike in separation anxiety and preference for mom
Longer to get to sleep at bedtime
Night time stretches of 4 to 6 hours, still feeding 1-2 times at night
3 consistent naps, last one always short cat nap to make sure he wasn’t overtired by bedtime

Hank 9-10 Months

So. Many. Wakes.
Hank was getting much more mobile but wasn’t quite mastering it and was very restless at night - would sometimes even stop nursing to sleep to then sit up and trying to move paired with what seemed to be more separation anxiety (see our blog on this)
Down to two naps, went through the transition quite easily, few false starts as he settled into the rhythm, slowly extended wake windows to get down to 2 naps, some days we still needed a third nap for sure
Still nursing to sleep!

Hank 10-11 Months

At the end of this month we went through a week of horrible false starts as more teeth cut
Consistently on two naps, usually the first one about an hour, the second one 1.5-2 hours
Night time is 1-2 feeds with random nights of 3-4 feeds thrown in with no clear reason

Hank 11-12 Months

Needing a LOT of practice with crawling and walking before sleep to avoid false starts and 3am skill practice
Down to 1 feed usually, sometimes 2 throughout the night
Consistent naps in terms of wake windows and length, but always vary a bit in timing within his rhythm based on wake up time
Still often nurses to sleep, sometimes prefers a snuggle or back rub instead

Things Hank has NEVER done in his first year:

Slept 12 hours straight
Been put down drowsy but awake
Gone an entire night without nursing (two nights Sarah was away he had a bottle from Oma)
Followed a strict schedule without varying nap and bedtimes

Things Hank has LOVED in his first year:

Supported contact naps
Carrier nap, car and stroller naps
Bed sharing with mom
Nursing to sleep

So there you have it! A year of sleep with baby Hank characterized by biologically norms and patterns that were not always liner! Remember, we cannot train a baby out of their needs and it SO normal for babies to wake at night. Your baby's ability to sleep through the night is not any indicator of how you are doing as a parent, we know you're doing amazing, and we hope you know it too!